To:craigslist 5004889444 <c8nvf-5004889444@job.craigslist.org>
I am duty bound to let you know I have a terrible drinking problem. It’s part of my five step program to let you know. Anyway, I need a job. Not as bad as I need a drink, but still it would be nice, because I like expensive craft beers. As part of my program I am limited to only high quality beers. They are expensive, but worth it. Very tasty brew that I buy. Anyway, I’m very good at this type of work, and have a proven track record of barely ever calling in sick. Also, I have a pretty bad drinking problem. I only mention this due to that program. However, my drinking problem is being handled very responsibly as you can see, and I would really love the chance to prove myself to you.
Vinnie Encarcione