This week, I celebrated my third biggest achievement; I moved into my own studio apartment. It’s small, but not too small. It’s expensive, but not so expensive that I can’t still afford to eat. Most importantly, it’s mine. All mine. I’m calling it my Canal Beach House, because of it’s proximity to the famous Venice Canal District, and Silicon Beach, right here in Venice, California.

I’m not going to go into the ins and outs of the costs, because I believe this is an exclusively relative factor in everyone’s lives. I am currently Underemployed. I am also currently broke.

My medical insurance renewal, taxes, and move, all come within three months of each other, meaning that the concept of saving money over the next quarter is basically impossible. Also, two of my regular jobs have all but slowed to a snail’s pace. Therefore, I was tasked with the dreaded ordeal of moving my house with basically no money, and no time to waste in getting myself more work.

In this How To, I will attempt to adequately explain to you, my dear Underemployed peers, how to move home on a budget, whilst also being underemployed.

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Unless you’re a charming Brit like me, there’s no nice way to tell someone to get lost and not lose them as a friend. As a Brit, I made a pretty massive mistake in one particular life choice. I moved to California…

It’s just so awful here. It never rains. The people are wonderful. And there is always something to do. Dreadful. Dreadful. Dreadful.

I’m joking. Obviously.

This issue actually relates more to how others view my life choices. In making the decision to follow my dreams and live in Southern California, I brought everyone I love with me. Not physically, but I implanted the idea that SoCal is a holiday destination-to my friends, that is, who would have otherwise just gone to Spain, France, or maybe Croatia. Croatia is actually an amazing holiday destination, and I highly recommend it. Go there. Please, go there instead of here.

Again, joking. Sort of.

I can’t wait for my friends to come and visit. Unlike all of my friends who moved to France, I am neither retired nor a ski instructor, so my spare time is a lot less frequent than one might assume. This has a wealth of issues that go along with it, which I’ve written into small bite size pieces below for all of you to read at your leisure…

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Just because you’re Underemployed doesn’t mean the rest of your life has to be as miserable as your job. As a huge advocate for happiness, I strongly suggest you take the time to consider your living environment. Depression has a habit of manifesting itself in one’s physical life, as well as in one’s internal monologue. An easy way of boosting your self-esteem is to give yourself something positive to go home to.

This might sound ridiculous, but trust me, it isn’t.

When I was younger, I had a job at an opticians. To this date, it’s still the best work environment I ever had the fortune of experiencing. Every day came a new form of mayhem, and I learned almost every swear word, sickening joke, and revolting ways in which humanity can make those of us in the service industry a little bit more miserable.

All of the women I worked with were wonderful. We were a staff made up almost exclusively of blondes. Even if you go and visit that very opticians today, you’ll notice everyone there (bar the actual opticians) is blonde.

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In the United States, only 57% of women participate in the labor force. 26% of people employed in computer and mathematical occupations are women. 70% of mothers with children under the age of 18 take part in some form of employment. On average, women earn less than men. Female minorities earn less than the Caucasian woman. I could go on, but what’s the point? We’ve all heard the rhetoric. Women in the American workforce are let down, right?

Wrong.

It was less than 100 years ago that women were finally granted the right to vote. Prior to that, we were baby makers. An extra pair of hands to help out around the house. A pretty thing to look at. All that changed on August 18th, 1920, when we won the right to vote. Women are not the technological industry; we cannot press a few buttons, write some code, and expect equality. Please don’t let this make you angry. Instead, let it inspire you to work for what you deserve.

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The Day-to-Day

Ninety-nine percent of life is spent doing miscellaneous work aimed only at earning money. That’s fine. Popular rhetoric would suggest the one percent always have the best of everything, so the ninety-nine percent can carry on doing the heavy work. However, when the heavy work is completed as a means to an end, it creates a sense of something being amiss.

For example, today I worked for a client. The work was boring, dry, dreary, and forgettable. I earned a small amount of money for it, which will inevitably go toward keeping a roof over my head, and food in my mouth, and not much else.

After finishing that work, I returned home where I completed a similar set of work, which was significantly better rewarded on a financial level, but did not quite fill this overwhelming gap in my soul. This gap appeared about a month ago, and is desperately seeking something to take its place. That desperation will realistically be short-term, as I intend to fill it quite soon. However, now the time is being filled with the monotony of the day-to-day, which is the absolute worst thing about being underemployed.

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As those of you who follow my column know, I am a theoretical sociologist. As well as having almost twenty PhD dissertations under my belt, I also have an undergraduate degree, and am half way through a book that looks at how sociology influences almost all of the decisions we make.

Sociology is an intensive subject that doesn’t garner the credit it deserves. Whether on macro or micro levels, sociology has an impact on every single element of our lives. That’s why I’ve decided to utilize it in this article as a means of explaining the normalities sociology can tell us about the business world.

To break it down into easily digestible sections is the best course of action for this piece, as I always need to include at least a portion of humor in my works.

Most women will not be happy with what I have to say, but please remember-this is based on SCIENCE, and certainly not on opinion. For legal reasons, I am unable to reference my sources. However, I will be detailing how to obtain this data at the end of this article.

Don’t Try To Play With The Boys

The world of employment is run by men. We all know this. However, you don’t have to pretend to be a man in order to become successful in your place of work. In fact, it has been found that acting in a masculine way is inherently detrimental to female progression in the workplace.

Recent trends have shown that the growth in ‘women in the workplace’ has put men in an awkward emotional position. Traditional masculinities, defined as “manhood,” are not the same as traditional femininities. Whereas feminine qualities are gifted to women through genetic material, (ie: boobs), manhood is earned through action. When women attempt to join forces with men on their level, imitating their ideals, it doesn’t make you “one of the boys,” it simply demeans the efforts they have made to assert themselves under the membership of manhood club.

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Being underemployed usually means being poor or just poor enough to not be able to break free. Even if you’ve no hope of earning millions, it’s important to manage your money wisely. It’s even more important to learn how to make yourself happy without spending money you might not have.

Everything you’re about to read is IMPORTANT! PAY ATTENTION, PLEASE!

Credit cards do not constitute free money

However, it is temporarily free money. The most sensible of us will use a credit card for big purchases. If you’re buying flights, a new car, or a laptop, then you should ensure that you have at least half of the payment in your debit or savings account before putting in your CVV number. If you don’t, then make sure your purchase is worth it, and can be paid off as a result of your latest investment. Here is a prime example…

Be sensible with your investments

I recently bought a new iPad. I did this because the next few months of my life are going to involve a lot of traveling. I could use the time between my travels for work. However, I live with five pets, a small child, my best friend, four blocks from my boyfriend, and seven blocks from the beach. Yeah, as if I’m spending all day indoors.

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Being a transatlantic traveler has its perks. It’s arguably the best way to live: you get the vibrancy and freedom of America, whilst also utilizing the NHS whenever you head back across the pond.

Having both lived and worked in the United Kingdom and the United States, I’ve noticed some differences in the way each country’s Underemployed have to deal with the quirks and realities of their underemployed jobs. In this article I will take you on a wild journey between the two superpowers. We will run away together through the crazy, exciting, Breakfast Club inspired, Arrested Development farce, shitstorm that is the British VS American Underemployment.

Who will win the title of Best Country To be Underemployed In?

Our journey will culminate in a knock-out decider. Strap up, you’re in for a ride…

Only joking, I’m British. This will be swearily civilized.

The Boss

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Whether you’re currently underemployed or have made it out the other side, you never know what could come down the road to affect your life. An economic downfall could make your dream job your worst nightmare. One chance meeting could see you moving to the other side of the planet to begin a new life. The world could see your profession as dated and unnecessary, so goodbye dreams!

For these reasons, I’ve thought long and hard about my New Year’s resolution. Not only does it apply to my work, ensuring that underemployment does not haunt my every waking moment, but I hope it will also advance my personal life.

As a Brit, I watch my friends and family live their lives through the concept of No. That one tiny, universally acknowledged, evil, son of a bitch term has dictated the entire lifeline of those I love and cherish. It could be as simple as hearing it, forcing you to give up on an idea. It could be your inner demons hissing it at you as you lie down to sleep at night. Maybe it was a high school teacher, or even an elementary school teaching assistant, that scoffed at your dreams. Believing in No, will leave you on your death bed, regretting all of the things you failed to do.

I’m big campaigner against No. When I turned 18, I had a big party at my house. All of my friends and family were invited. Looking back on it, this was the turning point for me. It was a rough point in my life, and I knew I had to change something or I’d end up killing myself. That night, a night that my family still rave about with glee, was actually fucking dreadful.

I won’t go into too many details, but let’s just say several fist fights occurred in the weeks after, enemies were enforced in steel and bone (and yes, I think it is good to have enemies, but that’s a story for another week), and a drastic choice was made changing the way I make every decision I’ve made ever since.

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