Archives for December 2016

Whether you’re currently underemployed or have made it out the other side, you never know what could come down the road to affect your life. An economic downfall could make your dream job your worst nightmare. One chance meeting could see you moving to the other side of the planet to begin a new life. The world could see your profession as dated and unnecessary, so goodbye dreams!

For these reasons, I’ve thought long and hard about my New Year’s resolution. Not only does it apply to my work, ensuring that underemployment does not haunt my every waking moment, but I hope it will also advance my personal life.

As a Brit, I watch my friends and family live their lives through the concept of No. That one tiny, universally acknowledged, evil, son of a bitch term has dictated the entire lifeline of those I love and cherish. It could be as simple as hearing it, forcing you to give up on an idea. It could be your inner demons hissing it at you as you lie down to sleep at night. Maybe it was a high school teacher, or even an elementary school teaching assistant, that scoffed at your dreams. Believing in No, will leave you on your death bed, regretting all of the things you failed to do.

I’m big campaigner against No. When I turned 18, I had a big party at my house. All of my friends and family were invited. Looking back on it, this was the turning point for me. It was a rough point in my life, and I knew I had to change something or I’d end up killing myself. That night, a night that my family still rave about with glee, was actually fucking dreadful.

I won’t go into too many details, but let’s just say several fist fights occurred in the weeks after, enemies were enforced in steel and bone (and yes, I think it is good to have enemies, but that’s a story for another week), and a drastic choice was made changing the way I make every decision I’ve made ever since.

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Image by Kenzie Saunders (License CC BY-SA 2.0)

They call it the first rung of the Los Angeles ladder. You’re right at the beginning, commencing your terrible journey into heartbreak, poverty, arguments, and being taken for granted.

You’re new, so no one thinks you can do anything or know anything.

For me, this stress has always been doubled because of the way I look. Who’s going to believe that a small, blonde, ex-model knows anything about anything? I still see it in some people’s eyes. They shoot a sideways glance when I open my mouth and begin to debate.

I’ve even had family members tell me what I do to earn the bulk of my living isn’t actually a “proper job.” That my hours of intensive study for other people’s PhDs “isn’t science.”

It’s pretty fucking horrible being seen as a dumbass. Even when I do the work and prove myself, I’m patronized; told I am being a “know it all.” Well you know what, I’ve worked hard to be a know it all. Though I’m still technically underemployed, I am still a hell of a lot better off than I was last year when I was still in Swansea.

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There are two ideas floating around my head about success. They were both instilled from an early age.

1. Men are expected to be successful. This means money, a fancy car, a big house, and a girlfriend or wife easily mistaken for a supermodel.
2. In order to achieve that wealth, you need to be in a job that has you driving downtown, wearing a thousand-dollar suit, and taking an elevator to the top floor of a building. Once there, you’ll most likely spend the day on the phone, in front of a computer screen, and talk with similarly dressed professionals about how to get more money into your bank account.

…I didn’t say they were accurate conceptions, but outdated or not, they’ve influenced how I measure success in employment and my personal life. If you’ve read some of my other pieces in the Underemployed Life, you’re aware I haven’t followed the traditional career path. I’ve had several high-paying jobs, but many of them were so incredibly soul sucking I wasn’t tempted to stick around. These days I get by with a variety of writing and social media gigs, but I wouldn’t say I’m getting ahead by any means.

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I’ll get shit for this article. I know I will. Just look at the headline, it’s embarrassingly self-important, and I sort of like that. Is that awful of me?

When this piece was pitched to me, I knew I had to put words to paper. You see, this is an issue that is hardly ever discussed in the real world. Who wants to feel sympathy for an ex-model who gets judged because she may come across as good looking?

No one ever feels sorry for attractive people. This is a sociological concept I like to call the “bully bitch syndrome.” Think about it: every high school drama always has a pretty girl as the Queen Bee, and a gorgeous guy as the head of the football team. We’re the winners until the freaks and geeks take over. Hooray for the losers! Well, High School ends. Us pretty people go on and try to lead real lives, and build careers for ourselves whilst in a constant up-hill battle with the label of Mean Girl.

I’m not trying to say I think I’m Regina George. However, myself, and my high school bestie (Lu, you know who you are) have faced our fair share of bullshit for living life to the fullest, whilst being called attractive.

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Image by Insomnia Cured Here (License CC BY-SA 2.0)

It seems like a reflexive action from those who hate their jobs. They tell people they’re going to look for something better, but they don’t. I could name countless friends and peers who said this, and then did nothing to improve their lot. So what’s the problem? If people hate their jobs so much, why don’t most of them look for a better one?

I think the real problem is inertia. Most people are worn out after a typical work week. The very last thing they want to do is update their resume, job hunt, and interview. Who needs that bullshit, right? After a full work week, most people are just trying to get some rest and/or substances so they can forget the week that was. Come Monday, it’s back to the same rut, and back to saying even louder how “this is the week I finally, really, truly, I mean it this time, look for a better job.” Cue the end of the week, and it’s back to the barcalounger for nappy nap.

To be fair, there’s also this reality – if you do look for work, and you already have a job, it’s kind of seen as a bad thing by most companies. That means you have to lie to prospective employers that you don’t have a job, and then also find a way to make an interview if you happen to work that day. Only potentially calamitous events lie that way. It’s easy to be afraid of the future if it looks like an ongoing series of obstacles. I’ve been there. More than once, and I can tell you from experience-sometimes, you have to take a gamble.

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Image by Mingle Media TV (License CC BY-SA 2.0)

Women have the opportunity to bring a unique and different viewpoint into the mostly men’s world of business. Not only are we bred tougher, while still maintaining an unrefined elegance, but we also inherently possess different qualities. These qualities can be a tremendous asset to today’s market. From the time we’re old enough to walk, our mothers, grandmothers, sisters, and friends are teaching us a multitude of different skills. These skills range from accounting and baking, to leading a family or business. Depending on where you come from, your skills could be anywhere across the board.

When it comes to the business world, women are some of the most underemployed and/or underutilized professionals out there. We come with a range of skills that are diverse and useful in almost any situation. Yet most of the time, they’re completely ignored. For years I was the General Manager of a bar and restaurant. On numerous occasions I was greeted with shock by clients when they first met me. They’d been given all of my numbers and accomplishments ahead of time, but just assumed they would be meeting a man.

Unfortunately, a lot of impressive skills women have often get overlooked. It’s because these skills aren’t necessarily quantifiable. These attributes are rendered as personality traits, not skills. So with that in mind, let’s take a look at five of the top skills women have, but are rarely utilized, much less recognized.

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