Archives for October 2016

I’m not going to sugarcoat it, I’m a massive pussy when it comes to all things scary. Even parts of Harry Potter give me nightmares. So you can think again if you think I’d watch a real horror film. And I’m not talking about Saw and other gross slasher films like Hostel. Gore does not constitute horror. Gore is just fucking disgusting and fucked up. What scares me are ghosts, demons, and crazy psycho murderers chasing you through the woods, desert, …..basically anywhere. If the protagonist is cleaning their teeth in the bathroom mirror and something pops up behind them, I’m done. Too scary. No thank you. Bye bye.

However, if a horror film is particularly well reviewed, I might give in and give it a viewing. I have in the past. After watching The Woman In Black, I realized I could never live alone. The movie, Signs, has made me perpetually nervous around fields landscaped with mazes in them. Don’t even get me started on The Babadook.

I am not sure if any of these scary monsters exist in real life. As a theoretical scientist, I’m designed to leave things that are not officially proven (or disproven), in that weird void of uncertainty. Yes, uncertainty is a scientific phenomenon. You can Google it.

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Let’s be real. Post-grad life, which used to be about striking out on your own, is now about adjusting to life back with your parents. It’s about embracing near constant despair while looking at Indeed.com. Finally, and most crushing, it’s about the neverending conversations you have regarding what the hell to do about impending student loan payments. This is a huge problem.

According to Student Loan Hero, the median student debt owed in the U.S. is a whopping $37,000. That’s up 6% from last year’s numbers. This means a good number of students are starting adult life nearly $40,000 in the red. The 6 short months between when you graduate and when the bank starts yanking at your chains to pay up, is quicker than a flash of light. The high loan amount is only one problem too. Another is, due to that debt, students no longer have the opportunity to become independent adults after college.

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I am not a parent. As I am not a parent, I understand you may think this piece falsely written. What could I possibly know about giving decent career advice to children?

Well, though I may not be a parent, I am still the child of two very successful parents. I am also the grandchild of successful grandparents. On paper, I should be earning a lot more money than I currently do. I should also be significantly higher up in a news agency or other form of non-fiction writing than I currently am.

My role models should have inspired me to try harder, but that didn’t happen. However, being underemployed does not have to mean that you are overqualified for a job you are getting under paid for (and for the record, The Underemployed Life is my highest paying position).

Let me start from the beginning. When I was young, I wanted to be a paleontologist. I was obsessed with Walking With Dinosaurs, and the Jurassic Park films. If it had dinosaurs in it, I was into it. Geology in general was my thing. This was all going on before the time I turned 10-years-old. I like to think this made my parents happy. I didn’t want to be famous, or be a singer, or an actress or any of those competitive positions that are mostly based on looks and sex. I wanted to be a scientist.

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Around 27 million workers—roughly one out of every six U.S. workers, are either unemployed or underemployed. It’s a hard pill to swallow when you’re in that category. I’m included in the category, but the good thing is, I’m not out on the streets. Currently, I’m in college, but I make ends meet with assistance from the Veteran’s Administration and freelance writing.

Not everyone is able to sit at a comfortable level. Most people spend each day either searching Internet job sites or driving around commercial areas inquiring businesses about openings. The stress and worry pile up, leading to a downward spiral into a dark abyss! In this market, plenty of people are making all the right moves, and still can’t find work.

This article doesn’t contain the following: “how to write an effective resume,” “how to impress your employer,” or ” what to wear to an interview.” Instead, I’m going to focus on the most important factor to keep you afloat—your mental strength.

Researchers believe underemployment can have long-term psychological effects. It’s an issue that hasn’t been studied in depth. Several experts worry that if the situation doesn’t improve quickly, it could lead to a sense of unfulfilled hopes and diminished expectations. I intend to offer a survival guide to help you keep your sanity while going through the hell of un(der)employment. It’s a mixture of things I’ve learned, heard, and read. Let’s get started!

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In addition to being a press operator at a plastics factory, I’m also a stripper. I’ve heard time and again that my job is a cop-out. I think one of the reasons most people don’t view dancing as legitimate employment is because – at least from my perspective – this job is fun as all hell, and a lot of us are oppressed by the idea that your job isn’t supposed to be fun. You’re supposed to go to work to make money, and go have fun during your time off. Most jobs don’t allow you to drink on the job or simply walk away from a troublesome customer (for obvious reasons). You’re supposed to grin and bear it (sober), and silently count the seconds until you can clock the fuck out.

Set schedules, strict policies, forced behavior, quotas… normal jobs suck. When I work at the club, the only real requirements are that I’m on the floor at least 4 hours, and I make enough money to pay my $15 tip out. I can usually make that much from talking to someone for 10 minutes, whether or not I play the pity card. That’s where this job gets a little more involved than just being a hot piece of ass. We have to talk to people – both men and women, yes, both, into paying money to watch us dance on a pole, or grind on their lap.

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Image by Tilemahos Efthimiadis (license CC BY-SA 2.0)

Adulthood isn’t turning out like you thought it would. If you earned a degree in the humanities (e.g., English, history, philosophy) and find yourself manning the reception desk, ringing up customer purchases at a department store, or asking customers if they want fries with that, then buckle up kiddos, you’ve got a bumpy ride ahead of you.

If you haven’t figured it out already, corporate America holds only two things in greater contempt than a degree in the humanities: a fine arts degree and no degree at all. Although corporate America gives lip service to the notion they want employees who can read, write, and analyze, what it really wants is someone who can count, has an MBA, 20 years of experience, and will work for minimum wage. At this point, you realize you should have spent your college years apprenticed to a master plumber or automotive mechanic. Hey, there’s good money to be made in the skilled trades.

So, now you’re sure you’re doomed to perpetual underemployment. Fear not, because you have options. They’re not necessarily great options; but hey, whatever pays the bills and pays off that mortgage you call a student loan, right?

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