Archives for June 2016

It’s been three months since The Underemployed Life launched. During that time, we’ve solved the problem of underemployment. Our work here is now officially over. Thank you and good night. Wait, what? We didn’t fix it? Underemployment is actually worse now? It’s still a raging fire devouring the globe? I’m exaggerating for comic effect?

So, underemployment…..We all know it’s awful to work at a job that doesn’t utilize our skills or education. A lot of  us waste our creativity and intellect in jobs that only give us a paycheck, and nothing more. That’s not good for us as individuals, and it isn’t good for society. A society prospers when it’s citizens are engaged in meaningful work.

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Underemployed people are hard to categorize as a group. There isn’t one kind of underemployed person. We come from different backgrounds, age ranges, and cultures. Our levels of education, experience, and skill couldn’t be more diverse. And though the underemployed defy easy stereotypes, there is one job that seems to attract more than its fair share of them. I’m talking about sales jobs. Why sales? Money would be the obvious answer, and it definitely figures in. However, sales offers some attractive fringe benefits besides the promise of money. This post lists the top five reasons why so many underemployed workers choose a job in sales.

1. You can be free to be the worst version of yourself   

Unleashing your id is what sales is all about. Breaking shit out of frustration, hyper-competitiveness, greed, unearned anger, and many other awful emotions are net positives when you work in sales. Can you be hateful, spiteful, and needy? Great, welcome to the job.

Sales people openly hate it when their peers close a deal, and love it just as much when they’re getting their ass kicked. Nowhere else will you see contempt and hostility for a coworker so openly expressed.

“What, you just sold a car? I fucking hate you. Die in a fire.”

“The guy bitched you out, and called you a sleaze. Hahaha!!  That’s great. I love it.”

There’s also a weird camaraderie among sellers. You’ll burn the candle on both ends with them, attempt to fuck the other over if you think you can get away with it, and then be sad if they leave for another job.

Nothing sums up sales better than this anecdote. A salesman I knew, snuck into the store he worked for on his day off. He hid in a broom closet that was slightly ajar. The guy thought a customer he’d worked with the day before might come back, and a coworker would steal his sale. He stayed in the broom closet all day waiting to catch him. That is some grade A, FDA approved, crazy. Even funnier, that story was told to me proudly by the guy who did the hiding.

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The first Working with Dickheads featured the manager of a mattress store. So does this one, but not the same guy. Be assured, I’ve worked with dickheads at lots of other jobs, but the mattress industry seems to attract them like moths to some sort of bright hot thingy I can’t quite remember the name of. Anyway, for this edition of Working with Dickheads, we turn to a man I worked with who had a ridiculously inflated sense of self. A person who said some of the most profoundly stupid things I’ve ever heard in my life. This guy would almost be dangerous if he wasn’t so dumb. In fact, if you could peer inside his head you would see a few stray pigeons flying around, constantly knocking into each other, and falling to the ground.

I’d been working for Sleep Train for nine months when the district manager called to tell me he was moving me to another store. That was common practice. The store I’d be working at would be staffed by me and one other person: the manager. A little information on the duties of a mattress store manager. The manager makes the schedule and handles inventory. Aside from that, nothing differentiates them from a salesperson. They have no real authority. They can’t fire or hire. They can’t discipline for poor work performance. Most of them can barely push the right code for an alarm system. Pssst-It’s 1234. Don’t tell anyone.

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Underemployment is tough. Unemployment is tougher. However, it’s a closer call than you might think. Underemployment wins, but just by a hair or two. In my view, there’s little to feel good about when you’re working a job that’s dull and uninspiring. I’m sure many of us have stared out the window of a job we disliked and thought, “there has to be something better than this.” The problem is finding that “something better,” and that’s the one silver lining about being unemployed. It allows you to concentrate on what you really want to do, and go after it. I speak from experience.

I was unemployed for the first time in 2013. Previously, I’d worked from 1995 to 2012 without any gaps in my work history. After seventeen years of steady employment, I wasn’t in a rush to get to the next gig. I felt like I needed some down time, and it’s fair to say I was a little burnt out. I had unemployment insurance coming in, a few bucks saved up for a rainy day, and wasn’t motivated to immediately start looking for another job.

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In previous essays, I’ve attacked some of the country’s biggest corporations for their relentless greed, mistreatment of employees, and disturbing amorality. I think there’s little doubt underemployment, stagnant wages, and a disappearing middle class are largely due to the enormous power too many U.S. corporations wield today. Having said that, it’s important to acknowledge when a company gets it right. When they treat their employees with the dignity and respect they deserve. I worked for one such company. They were a business that implemented a culture of fairness and decency. More notably, they proved a big corporation could treat their employees well, and still be hugely profitable.

In November of 1998, I received a call from the staffing agency I belonged to. They asked me if I wanted to work as a temp for a company called Airtouch Cellular. I would start out in order processing. I said yes. That “yes” changed my life. At the time, I was 31 years old, and had no job, no savings, no plan. It was not a great time to be me.

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Interviewing for a job can bring up intense fears and anxiety. You worry about what to wear. What to say. Is my resume up to snuff? Do I make eye contact? How direct should I be? What about my handshake? How hard? How firm? How long? Wait…what are we talking about? Oh yeah, calming your throbbing panic from becoming engorged with stress. Anyway, the tension can be so all consuming, it’s no wonder most people say fuck it, and just stay at a job they hate.

If you’re someone who wilts at the thought of interviewing for a new job, I have some excellent tips for you. I’ve been on both sides of the interview desk, so I know what hiring managers are looking for, and I also know the fears that interviewees go through. Some of my tips may seem cheeky or cynical, because they are. They also work.

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