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The 12 Best Self Tanning Products of 2017
Having grown up in South Wales, a land where “summer” constitutes maybe a random week in April when I would be sat in a classroom, I am more than accustomed to being pasty white and miserable.
Underemployed audience, I can feel your stress as you sit in your office, watching as the sunshine glitters and glimmers outside your window. My only hope is that you can open a window, and are not parched of fresh air as well as vitamin D.
It is this workaholic lifestyle that led the best in beauty brands to create the sunless tan. This marvelous invention is not limited to making your exterior glow, but can also create a sense of sparkle inside too. Whether it is natural or not, life is ALWAYS better with a tan.
A decade of fake tans has led me to develop my comprehensive list of the best self-tanning products on the market, so that even though you may be in a miserable job, you can still glow inside your own skin!
- All My Eternity Gradual 10
This faux-tanner is literally an award winner. Unfortunately, I am VERY allergic to cocoa, so I had my friend Sarah try this one out for me. She said it was excellent, and didn’t leave those embarrassing orange lines between her fingers. The overall glow doesn’t have a highlight of orange either, so was a definite WIN for us!
Another gradual tan, and slightly out of my budget as far as faux-tan goes, but arguably one of the best on the market. My super duper rich friend (who shall remain nameless) introduced me to Creme de la Mer with a birthday present last year. It smells good. It doesn’t streak. It also didn’t go all weird and patchy after I had a bath, which was a huge bonus.
For a mid-range priced product, Clarins is a far more boujey glow-booster. What I liked most about Clarins was that I could just add it to the products I was already using. During the winter, I would add a few drops to my face moisturiser, my night-face moisturiser, and whatever my body cream was. For the most part, it was streak free, and it LASTS FOREVER!
- Perfect Legs Gradual Tan
I can’t touch my toes. I’ve never been able to touch my toes. The closest I can get to just below my knees, and then my hamstrings scream, and I give up and lie down. This is because my body is mostly made up of legs. However, I would happily let my body be made up of Perfect Legs Gradual Tan. WARNING: This is a particularly dark gradual tan. I like to use it when I know I’m going somewhere that my photograph will be taken and/or when I go venturing in the desert, or festivals. It goes great against a white t-shirt, or those silly (awesome) sparkly fake tattoos.
- Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Natural Bronze Gradual Tanning Moisturiser
Again, I am super allergic to this stuff. Luckily, my loving friends have officially told me that this a great product for those with sensitive skin. The smell is a topic of some debate, with some people loving it, and other not quite seeing the appeal. I’d recommend this product to people with dry skin, and those with a paler complexion.
YES. YES. YES. YES. YES!!!! If you’re happy to spend a handful of dollars on this stuff, I’d do it YESTERDAY. It’s ridiculously easy to apply, smells like cookies, and dries so bloody quickly that I would happily dare you to put on a fresh white tshirt afterwards. Go on. I DARE YOU!
- Clinique Self Sun Body Tinted Lotion
Clinique will always have a special place in my heart. If it weren’t for the combined power of Clinique, Dermalogica, and Yasmin birth control pill, my skin would probably still be horrendous. To this day, I will only use Clinique make up, and even then I go for a tinted moisturiser over a thick foundation. The only downside to Clinique is that the fake tan bottles aren’t quite big enough for the price. Then again, I am a cheap bastard so what do I know?! If you’re look for the most dermatological-ly friendly product, I’d argue that you can’t ever do better than Clinique.
Banana Boat spray is clear. This is very unlike most self-tanners, but oddly it works quite well. However, I would only recommend it to experienced tanners, like myself. It’s easy to make stupid mistakes when applying fake tan, and if this is your first time then I’d go with a different option. Overall, I really like Banana Boat, and I’d recommend it to any seasoned self-tanning expert.
- Dior Bronze Self-tanner natural glow
With this self-tan, you’re not just paying for the name. Dior decided to go for a gel-based application, which is great for easy application. It doesn’t really smell, and there definitely aren’t any stains from using it. It’s not dark enough for me, personally, but this is definitely the product for those of you that are new to the whole process. 10/10 fo sho.
I’ve not used this stuff personally, but I’d highly recommend it purely based off the reaction from my friend Jenna. She lost her shit when he first used this stuff. It’s basically every festival girl’s wet dream. It’s sparkly, works for any skin tone, smells like vanilla cookies/ice cream/vanilla anything, and is washable. It also covers imperfections, which is why I recommend it to anyone attending a festival. If you don’t want to deal with foundation, then this is the stuff for you.
- Tanceutical CC Self Tanning Body Lotion
Being a twat, I did use this stuff myself. It has cocoa in it, but not so much that I broke out in a full-on rash. I was itchy for all of a day, and I think it was worth it for the glow. I used the darker option, and it was great for about a week. The only thing I didn’t like about it was that the reviews on the website are so blatantly copywritten, meaning the likelihood of them being legit is fairly low. However, I would still recommend it for those of you looking to get your glow on.
FAKE BAKE IS THE BEST FAKE TAN ON THE MARKET RIGHT NOW!!! I have used this stuff for years, and it’s wonderful for all of the right reasons. I would usually do my tanner on a Thursday or Friday before a Friday or Saturday night out. I’d cover my whole body around 3 o’clock in the afternoon, and it would dry by the time I got into bed. I’d wash off the next morning and hide myself for the day – a great excuse to get some work done – and then by the evening, I’d have another little wash before going out, and I’d be set. This stuff tans brown, not orange, will last a whole week, and then it easily exfoliated off. The only downside is that it does smell, and your bedsheets will turn permanently orange. However, that is why I recommend buying orange bedsheets.
Kay Smythe, The British Bitch in America.
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